Managing Anxiety and Depression
When people talk about getting healthy mental health is often left out of the conversation. Though mental health plays a major part in a person's ability to move through life most of us still invest more time into building diet and exercise plans than living in healthy mental spaces.
I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression for quite a few years now. Like many people, I found talking about my mental health embarrassing. It was never something openly discussed in my family, and anyone seeming a little off from then norm was ostracize.
When I first started realizing the symptoms I had no idea what was happening to me. I struggled a lot trying to figure things out on my own and had a lot of downs before I realized how to get up. It's definitely still hard sometimes, but because of what I went through I feel it's so important to share my story and the things that have helped me become stronger.
Now that I'm fully aware of what anxiety is I realize that I've had it my whole life. I think of us as conjoined twins but in more of a Voldemort-Quirrell's kind of way.
Anxiety was the sick feeling and pulsing in my ears at 7 as I pre-read paragraphs trying to memorize them before being called next to read aloud. It was all the little irrational fears and scenarios in my head that kept me from putting myself out there and going for what I really wanted. It was the rapid heartbeat, sweating, shaking, shortness of breath, and chest tightness that almost caused my first car accident. It was overwhelming in every way imaginable, and because knowledge of mental illness was so limited I just thought that I was a) weird and b) irrational.
I had spoken to my father once about having what I called an "episode" at school and he was both angry and annoyed. He interrogated me coldly about why I would do something like that at school. When I couldn't come up with any solid answers his only advice was that I needed to control myself and get it together.
It wasn't until an amazing teacher (word to Swad) pulled me aside and shared her own experiences that I had a name for my episodes and began to feel more normal.
Unlike anxiety, depression made more of a slow creep into my life. For the greater part of my childhood and my teen years I was happy, and I mean truly happy. My happiness, however, was overpowered by a constant state of fear.
When you are made to feel fearful all of the time no space feels like your own. No one can ever be let in too close or find out too much. It becomes lonely. For a long time, everyone just chalked it up to teen angst not realizing that everything I was projecting outward was just a personification of how sad I felt inside.
During college, my depression became harder for me to mask and manage. I was low and would entertain ANYTHING that promised to pick me up. I left home seeking solace and found one of the most enabling environment imaginable. I quickly realized that though I couldn't make the sadness disappear I could, however, quiet it with all of the noise that college had to offer.
These days, college and those dark times seem like distant memories. Though I still struggle with staying out of the dark places I have made peace with my past and fearlessly call my anxiety and depression out by name. My journey has been long and hard, but without it I wouldn’t be where I am today.
If like me you struggle with quieting the negative inner voices and pulling yourself out of a stalled place below are 5 things that have helped me immensely.
Talk About What You’re Feeling
Whether it's to a therapist or a close friend - get it out. I know it might feel scary or feel like you're opening the door for judgment, but anxiety and depression are more common you think. Tons of people have had the same experiences and/or feelings as you. When you get into a depressive phase it's hard to believe that anyone can relate to you, but these are the times when you need people the most. Make it a point to get comfortable reaching out when you feel yourself slipping. The people who love you when you're up will love you when you're down. They will help you get past whatever it is you're going through and be there when you need them. Never be afraid to hit someone up and say, "Hey, throw me a lifeline."
Yoga
When I go through one of my anxiety spells I spiral quickly. I get so caught up in negative thoughts that I can’t make room for anything else. The beautiful thing about yoga is that it forces you to slow down. It makes you clear the space in your mind to focus on your breathing and listen to your body. Every move is very slow, deliberate, and purposeful switching your focus from internal to external.
Essential Oils
Essential oils have been a godsend. When Co and I would talk about our stress load and anxiety she put me on to lavender. She said she'd put it on her wrist in the morning and smell it to calm herself anytime she felt anxious and overwhelmed throughout the day. After that worked for me I started really looking into what other oils and how they could help. I have since bought an oil diffuser and have been water whippin lol. Check out these helpful tips for blending and mixing your own oils for the best results. (shameless plug) I also sell essential oil aromatherapy candles of some of my favorite blends.
Tea
When I'm shaky and sad and unable to snap out of it nothing helps like tea. The aroma, the warmth, and the feel of the cup in my hands are honestly like a hug from the universe. Tea warms my soul and all the places that feel empty and dark. Drinking tea is especially helpful when I’m really wound up and I cannot get to sleep.
Writing
Blogging is definitely bae, but journaling has always been my first love. Journaling is one of my go-to options when I am feeling really depressed. I started doing this before I started talking to anyone and a lot of times it was really great for me to get all of my emotions out. When you're only talking to yourself there is no one to judge you or make you feel worse about your current situation. A lot of times I end up crying, but it's cathartic because I need to unload all of these things from my brain. Writing everything down candidly and without any filters helps take the burden off my mind and pain out of my body.
Mental health is definitely something we all should be taking serious. It’s important to be aware of your emotions when you’re feeling them and seek the healthy help you need to manage and move past the negativity.
Managing mental health takes time, but awareness if the first step.
If you have any other tips or just want to talk about your experience PLEASE feel free to leave a comment. This is a safe space! Peace & love dolls.
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