Lessons Like: Insecure S3

Another season of Insecure has ended and of course, it feels like it came too soon. My favorites did a lot of growing up and fucking up, and the finale left me with hella questions. As usual, though, major gems were dropped and the takeaways were on point.  Here are the 8 things I hope you got from Insecure S3.

Unpack your own shit before you try to help anyone else

Season 3 closes out with Issa finally taking the time to set up her new apartment. This was such a moment because 1. damn girl it’s been 4 episodes you can’t sit on them boxes forever and 2. UNPACK YOUR SHIT MAMA!!!

I feel like we’ve been waiting on Issa to really woman up and handle things like an adult for way too long. This seemed to foreshadow a different Issa to come in season 4.

The real inspiration for this lesson though is Molly.  She does a TON of judging and canceling this season when in actuality she should probably find herself a seat.  

It’s cool to want to be the helpful friend and give advice but make sure you’re not out here throwing stones living in a glass house. No one wants Judge Judy tuned in when they really need is a friend.

This is especially true when Judge Judy is a hot ass mess. Self-checks are important. Make sure your ducks are lined up properly before you start trying to direct other people on how they should live their life.

You don’t owe these niggas a thing

Molly got her key back from Dro, Issa left Nathan where he had her fucked up, and Kelly was just dropping dudes off all season.

If you take nothing else from Insecure S3 realize that you don’t owe these niggas a goddamn thing. When they start moving funny grab your shit and move on. PERIODT!  

When your friends say you’re acting crazy….you’re probably acting crazy

If we’re being honest, we’ve all been caught up like Issa was over Nathan. Ya know, checking our phones like crazy and social media stalking. That was all pretty normal, but pulling up to his crib to play Inspector Gadget was way too far.

Issa wasn’t tryna hear Molly when she told her to chill out and was real life out here tryna hack into this man’s computer.

Your friends know you best, so listen when they tell you that you’re tripping. There’s no reason to be out here looking like a damn fool when your girls are trying to have your back. Sometimes you just have to swallow your pride and take the damn advice.

If nothing else it will save you the “I told you so” conversation in the future.

Work doesn’t always have to be dog eat dog

This season we see Molly in a new position at a new firm and things are pretty rocky for her.

By the end of the season she finds herself so obsessed with being the star that she forgets the importance of culture and community at work. She put herself in a box and got upset when people boxed her out.  

Advancement in the workplace is always the goal, but make sure you’re checking the cost. This is especially true if you’re the new fish in the pond. Take some time to get to know everyone and their lane before just trying to take over. You’ll have your time to show everyone you’re a boss bitch. Give it some time.

Be a good friend

With all of the constant drama going on in each of the girls’ individual lives we forget sometimes to check in with them as a unit. Tiffany brings us back to that this season once when she opens up to Issa in the car at Beychella and again with her “new” friends at her baby shower.

Friendship is tough, especially when you’re trying to adult. Our lives get so busy and the grind takes up so much time that we forget how important a simple check-in can be. We assume our friends know what’s up and that everything will sustain but effort is a necessity.  

Invite your girls to get coffee on your downtime. Take a step away from your busy schedule to check on theirs. Plan a girls’ trip so yall have time to reconnect.

Give someone different a chance

Though Nathan turned out to not be the guy we thought he was, Issa being with him was refreshing. It was nice to see her with someone so confident and free. He put a little pep in her step.

Molly, on the other hand, took the opposite approach with her dating life. Yet again instead of giving someone new an actual chance she dips out after they don’t meet one of her ridiculous expectations.

Insanity is dating the same type of niggas and expecting different results. Sometimes to figure out exactly what you need you have to try something you think you don’t. Step outside of your comfort zone and give someone who is checking for you a chance. You never know, they could be the best you ever had.

If you close a door keep that shit closed if you don’t really want what’s behind it

Issa and Daniel go through it this season and it’s really because they both keep opening the door. It was noble of Issa to recognize that her shit wasn’t together and she shouldn’t get involved with him, but at the end of the day, she was there for a reason.

We all have our comfort baes, comfort jobs, and comfort friends. The ones we fall back into because we know we can yet always end up leaving. We fall back into that same old thing because it’s easy and comfortable, but at some point we gotta grow the fuck up and stop opening that door.

Eventually, the people involved in your yo-yo act will get tired of going back and forth with you. If you’ve decided that you’re starting over then you can’t bring old shit into your new life.

Boundaries are Important

So many boundaries were crossed and defined this season I don’t even know where to begin. With each character’s growth, we really got to see how important it is to put parameters on things and protect your own peace.

If you’re not out here setting boundaries you’re tripping. I have a whole post on it so I won’t get too deep here.

Let me know what you thought of this season in the comments. I would love to hear about any lessons you caught that I left out.

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